Lesbian Lament

A song dedicated to the various Melissa Etheridge Clones--lesbian and straight--who assault the ears while one is waiting for the movie to begin.

I Can’t Find My Birkenstocks / Lesbian Lament


You took my love and now you’ve gone
Away for milk and pannetone
You went for groceries and you disappeared
It’s quite as if you never cared.

I search for this, I search for that,
You took the photos and the cat,
The pots, the pans and half the plants
The coffee mugs and my good pants.

I look for you in small cafes
And Starbucks sipping grande lattes.
You took the toaster and the clocks
And I can’t find my Birkenstocks
I can’t find my Birkenstocks.

I sit alone with no one there
I do my nails and brush my hair,
I had it cut, it looks real nice
It’s a color they call “Mocha Spice.”

I bought new pans and I got a cat
Redid the kitchen bright pink matte.
Bought new jeans and they’re distressed
Holes on the hips and I get dressed

To look for you in small cafes
At Starbucks sipping grande lattes
The toaster’s new and all the clocks
But I can’t find my Birkenstocks
I still can’t find my Birkenstocks.

Hoof Ardette