Take this cruet and open your mouth.
Now hold my alb while I head south.
Hoof Ardette, SJ
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Medical Breakthough
To cure the priests of pederasty
Dr. Church prescribes geograplasty.
Hoof Ardette, SJ
Dr. Church prescribes geograplasty.
Hoof Ardette, SJ
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Poem/Didier diddles
Who did Didier diddle
When he didn’t diddle Dinah?
Did Didier diddle Dolly
When he didn’t diddle Dinah?
Or did Didier diddle Deirdre
When he didn’t diddle Dinah?
Did Deirdre diddle by herself
Or did she diddle Deana?
Who did Didier diddle
When Dolly, Deirdre, Deana,
And Dinah weren’t around?
Did he diddle by himself till
One of them was found?
Or did he diddle Dieter, till time to go downtown?
Debussy Fields
When he didn’t diddle Dinah?
Did Didier diddle Dolly
When he didn’t diddle Dinah?
Or did Didier diddle Deirdre
When he didn’t diddle Dinah?
Did Deirdre diddle by herself
Or did she diddle Deana?
Who did Didier diddle
When Dolly, Deirdre, Deana,
And Dinah weren’t around?
Did he diddle by himself till
One of them was found?
Or did he diddle Dieter, till time to go downtown?
Debussy Fields
Friday, May 8, 2009
Go Sigmund, Go SIgmund
Go Sigmund, Go Sigmund...
Psychoanalyst Pere Sigmund Freud
Had a nasty old itch from a 'rroid
Said Sig, "It's a hassle,
To go scratch my assle,
Because anal thrills I avoid."
....Lars Poetica
Psychoanalyst Pere Sigmund Freud
Had a nasty old itch from a 'rroid
Said Sig, "It's a hassle,
To go scratch my assle,
Because anal thrills I avoid."
....Lars Poetica
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
The Ballad of Virtuelle
The Ballad of Virtuelle
What am I supposed to do
All alone without you?
Maybe I’ll give her a whirl
I mean that virtual girl.
She’s not quite latex or vinyl
And she’ll be all mine, be all minel.
She’ll give me good headset
And won’t muss up my bedset
And whenever I miss you
I’ll just clean up with tissue.
You always complainted
That my feelings were tainted
That I might check out others
And wish I had druthers.
But not Virtuelle
Who’d never complain
And that’s why I fell
For my lovely, my belle.
Who can act like a slut
And look like princess.
And I can program her gullet
To swallow emissious.
So goodbye now, goodbye
I must leave you, my darling
But I must really fly
Cause Virtuelle’s calling.
But she waits, she’s so patient
And she never suspects
I’ve some inklings most latent.
Cause I could reprogram
She could grow an appendage
And she would not mind
That’s her great advantage.
Lars Poetica
What am I supposed to do
All alone without you?
Maybe I’ll give her a whirl
I mean that virtual girl.
She’s not quite latex or vinyl
And she’ll be all mine, be all minel.
She’ll give me good headset
And won’t muss up my bedset
And whenever I miss you
I’ll just clean up with tissue.
You always complainted
That my feelings were tainted
That I might check out others
And wish I had druthers.
But not Virtuelle
Who’d never complain
And that’s why I fell
For my lovely, my belle.
Who can act like a slut
And look like princess.
And I can program her gullet
To swallow emissious.
So goodbye now, goodbye
I must leave you, my darling
But I must really fly
Cause Virtuelle’s calling.
But she waits, she’s so patient
And she never suspects
I’ve some inklings most latent.
Cause I could reprogram
She could grow an appendage
And she would not mind
That’s her great advantage.
Lars Poetica
Monday, September 15, 2008
Feastday of Saint Valerian
Today is the Feast of Valerian
Who lost his head as a contrarian
It might not be fair but
They gave him a haircut
And left him as lunch for the carrion.
Who lost his head as a contrarian
It might not be fair but
They gave him a haircut
And left him as lunch for the carrion.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Gun-totin' Palin
Oh Sarah the mayor of Wasilla
Is not just a Northern hillbilla
She's no namby-pamby
When she's hunting for Bambi
But rather much more like Godzilla.
Is not just a Northern hillbilla
She's no namby-pamby
When she's hunting for Bambi
But rather much more like Godzilla.
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