Herman Cain

On hearing that God told Herman Cain to run for president:

Said the Deity to Herman t. Cain
Say you'll run or I am sure stayin'
On your mind and your hiney
I've given this signy
And I'll see to the chicks you've been layin'.

Raison d'etre?

James Watson found DNA
Double helix showed him the Way
To get beyond Gods
And religious fantods
To look for some T and some A.
Lars Poetica

Halley's erection

Said the well-know astonomer Halley
"That comet don't come waley-naley
But it always comes back
On schedule, on track
Just like morning wood to the maley."

Eulick McCreavis

Godeater Theater

No theater in the Dark Ages
No Bijoux or Luxe or Pantages
Instead there were raids
They called them Crusades
To entertain mad Theophages.

Hoof Ardette SJ

Go Sigmund, Go SIgmund

Go Sigmund, Go Sigmund...

Psychoanalyst Pere Sigmund Freud
Had a nasty old itch from a 'rroid
Said Sig, "It's a hassle,
To go scratch my assle,
Because anal thrills I avoid."
....Lars Poetica

Feastday of Saint Valerian

Today is the Feast of Valerian
Who lost his head as a contrarian
It might not be fair but
They gave him a haircut
And left him as lunch for the carrion.

Gun-totin' Palin

Oh Sarah the mayor of Wasilla
Is not just a Northern hillbilla
She's no namby-pamby
When she's hunting for Bambi
But rather much more like Godzilla.

End of Primaries Limerick

Hillary's case for the delegates
Portrays her among the immaculates
Not tawdy and tacky
So cut her some slacky
And beef up her post-season tabulates.

St. George and the Church

Saint of the Day lists today - 23 April - as Saint George's day, then goes on to explain that he has been the object of overhype, as it were. So

Saint George ain't official Church dogma
But quaint theological fog, Pa
Did he slay a green dragon?
Pull Christ in a wagon?
Maybe not but he's not to be mockeda.

Hillary Flips the Bird

Ms. Hillary’s ahead of the flock
And she strides with a President’s walk
And she says she’s for peace
But will war ever cease
When she constantly quacks like a hawk?

Limericks Political and Scatological by Hoof Ardette

Just a few limericks today:

Republican Senator Foley
had some thoughts about teens most unholy
Though charged to protect 'em
He craved teenage rectum
And some of that firm young cannoli.

In order to come Foley went
For boys at the age of consent
If younger email them
Until he could nail 'em
And whack off like a real proper gent.

Said the Father to Adam you'd best
Shun that fruit so you can stay blessed
Then He turned to Eve
Who asked, "By your leave,
Is that going to be on the test?"

Said the beguiling young lady Jeffabelle
Whose virtue was not merely laughable,
"My father the minister
Said wed or be spinister
And so I am simply ineffable."

An eccentrical lady of Berkeley
Approached her costume berserkly:
"I found my turban
In Afghanistan
And the rest of my outfit in Turkley."

Haliburton works hard at its game
Plays for keeps and doesn't feel shame
As it screws the G.I.s
Hoping no one gets wise
And gives war profiteers a bad name.

Hoof Ardette