Ob hearing of the Texas Santa Claus murders.


Ooh--You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is gunning--for you.
He's made his list, he's checked it twice, and that bloodthirsty bastard's not very nice:
Santa Claus is gunning--for you.
He spies when you are sleeping, but he shoots when you're awake. He don't care if you're bad or good, he'll shoot you like a snake.
Don't sit on his lap Connie, don't give your wish list, Tim. He thinks you're greedy rat-tots, and they're all the same to him.
Oh, you better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is gunning for you.

Eulick McCreavis

Ain't It Grand?

If it turns out that He (or She, or It) does exist, it is patently obvious that God has delusions of grandeur.

Some shrink on the news says pedophilia is a biological condition. This would indicate that sexual preferences are all inborn.
When I was a kid I had no interest in playing doctor with children of either sex. I was much more interested in playing psychiatrist.
That is to say, shrink. I knew then that I could make pronouncements that would remain unquestioned for at least a little while.

When Innocent VIII pitched a fit
Poor witches took a hard hit
He hung them and burned them
Impaled them then scorned them
Because of his Papal Bull shit.

Hoof Ardette, SJ

Herman Cain

On hearing that God told Herman Cain to run for president:

Said the Deity to Herman t. Cain
Say you'll run or I am sure stayin'
On your mind and your hiney
I've given this signy
And I'll see to the chicks you've been layin'.

A Question for T.S. Eliot

There is just one thing, sir, that bothers me yet:
If you wrote it today, would "The Waste Land" be wet?

Miracles?

Jesus and His mum are spotted everywhere. Wouldn't it be swell if someone found the image of Richard Dawkins
on a piece of toast?

Black Swan?

What was the Vincent Cassel part in "Black Swan" named? Was it perhaps Swangali?

Raison d'etre?

James Watson found DNA
Double helix showed him the Way
To get beyond Gods
And religious fantods
To look for some T and some A.
Lars Poetica

Banana Republicans

The Republicans in Wisconsin and other states are trying to bust unions, a move that will give us more in common
with what we used to call "Banana Republics." I suggest we start carrying a banana with us to demonstrations,
or perhaps a Carmen Miranda hat, with signs that identify us as banana republicans.

New cologne

Paris Hilton has a new perfume called "Just Me." I propose a cologne called "Injustice."

Eulick's Song

Jesus doesn’t want you to do it
He wanted abstinence but then you blew it
Now Jesus and His Mommy weep
And you keep them from their heavenly sleep
All because you want to do it.

Jesus doesn’t want you to do it
So get on your knees and don’t pursue it
He can’t sustain His love for you
If you look for love outside the pew
Jesus knows you’re out to do it.

Jesus doesn’t want you to do it
You mustn’t act the poete maudit
If you must do it at least get blotto
Then confess and say you forgotto
Because Jesus doesn’t want you to do it.
……………………………………………Eulick McCreavis